happiness cannot come from without, it must come from within

after reading about my horoscope again and again. funny how some of the articles are quite true, they really do reflect me. but some are negative, then how? but again, they are just horoscope, something to read for fun, need not take them too seriously. a good character is still what everybody has to have. but still, my horoscope book is like a guide to my everyday life. retardedly, i sometimes will wear something which is of my lucky colour of each day. xD anyway i must be very free, to type out a simpler version of an article ive read and want to share..

what makes you unhappy?

unhappiness can stem from external and internal sources. external sources refer to problems in life situation, while internal sources have to do with the way we percieve life.

1. envy and discontentment
"envy is the ulcer of the soul." if someone's wealth and well-being make you unhappy, then they control your well-being. learn to celebrate the successes of others. it is natural to want better things. but if you always feel the grass is greener on the other side, you are always going to be dissatisfied.

2. playing the blame game
we may not be able to control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to them. instead of resorting to blame when things go wrong, take responsibility for every failure so you can learn from your mistakes and grow.

3. perfectionism
perfection is rarely attainable and seldom necessary, so stop stressing. nobody is perfect so learn to relinquish control when you can.

4. the glass is half empty
remind yourself that the glass is also half full. recognise your positive qualities and accomplishments, and rectify the areas that are dragging you down than dwell on them.

5. having no purpose
leading a meaningless life can make you doubt yourself and your existence. "love what you do. do what you love." inject meaning into your life by learning to follow your heart.

bust the happiness myths

the things we often seek to soothe our souls are the very things that feed our fears and cause happiness to elude us.

more money brings very little extra happiness, but many of us dont realise this. otherwise money cant buy happiness, but money does matter to a certain extent.

never assume that because things arent making you happy, they are the wrong things.

take up a productive, fulfilling activity or work. whats important is finding purpose in what you do and giving in your best.

make yourself happy

happiness may be a state of mind but the real world can and will affect it. how happy you are is greatly influenced by factors you can control or influence, like friendship, romantic relationships, finances, career and mental habits. the quickest path to happiness is addressing your outlook in life and, where possible, changing your circumstances.

1. nurture important relationships
make time for positive and uplifting relationships. happy people tend to have strong friendships and family ties, so take time to bond with people you care for.


2. do something nice
small or big, directed at friends or strangers, random acts of kindness make the person performing the kind act happier.

3. stoke the flame of love
keep your relationship strong by showing how much you care. instead of complaining about something, think about what you can do to show that you care.

4. get in touch with your spiritual side
finding a greater purpose than oneself and having a sense of belonging are one of the benefits of being part of a spiritual support group.

5. watch your finances
save for a rainy day and living within your means can give you a peace of mind. leading a debt-free life, yet knowing that your basic needs are covered, will decrease your stress levels and make you happier.

6. count your blessings
look around you to see what you have rather than what you dont. counting your blessings - supportive parents, a good friend and career - reminds you of the love and security you enjoy, which gives you a fresh perspective on life.

7. pick yourself up and move on
dont be too hard on yourself if you fall short of your own expectations. so regard your failures with humour, maintain your optimism, and try again.

happiness is a choice. your decisions create your life.

something..random which i thought of. :)

when you say something, through your heart.

who do you see to mean it for, right from the start?

hold and tell her, "life with you is wonderful to live."

simple words can mean more than its content, as long you believe.

im working very soon, hope it wont kill me. x_x well i dont think i hate him, but i just feel that im drifting even further away from him. everytime i read his blog, i feel very hurt that i cry. i cannot understand at all, i dont even know if i really had changed (ya my heart for him has). all i know is that he has been a person who likes to blame others and does comparison, i really cannot stand him whenever he does that. so it was my fault when i said "brb" on msn and i went to sleep after fetching my sister home from school. but i dont feel he needed to throw tantrums at me, i didnt expect him to wait "like an idiot" for the whole day. really am fed up and confused. ive always wanted to help him, since he claimed that nobody can help him and nobody understands him. but, i really find it very difficult. i really dont know how to help him, i dont even know if talking to him is right anymore. at the end, he must really help himself. all the best.

stuck at 18.
i found out that i dont have an elephant plush at all. x)

baby you are the best, i think you are different from the rest

my eyes look so small everyday i wake up, and thats the only time i have perfect double eyelids lol.

i could say a million more goodbyes
i try like hell to drag this out all night
just to hear you say it one more time
before another million miles go by
now im too far away to see you smile
and i just wanna watch you for a while
so you can be here

somewhere in the corners of my mind
i can see you standing by my side
its a perfect picture everytime
and everythings fine
when i see your smile

tonight i saw the brightest shooting star
wonder if it touched down where you are
and are you lonely tossing in your sleep
or dont you miss me
and it keeps getting harder every day
i'll be damned if i can stay away
guess theres only one thing i can do
if i can be there

somewhere in the corners of my mind
i can see you standing by my side
its a perfect picture everytime
it helps me get by

when i see your smile
girl it takes me right back home
and when i see you smile
i could swear im not alone
its the only single me, i'll take place me when im gone

somewhere in the corners of my mind
i can see you standing by my side
its a perfect picture everytime
and everythings fine

and somewhere in the corners of my mind
i can see you standing by my side
its a perfect picture every time
its just you and i
when i see your smile
when i see you smile
*lyrics may not be accurate, but thanks to a particular sweet buta who found this rare song for me! surprise!

MY SISTER 晶晶

everyday disturb me to wake up and then i will fetch her home from school.

lol she was very impatient when going out shopping with my mama and me. had to carry her and entertain her. and i got scolded by my mama, "how old already still play with her" -.-

she said she wants that, reminded me when i was young. i had a minnie mouse doll which i will bring everywhere. but my mama threw it away.

"jie jie pai zao! pai zao me! pai zao!"

after school go sit on horsie or tortise. and give them all a shake before going home. standard procedures lol.


i love that brown heels, great with jeans i guess. but i got that white heels instead.

my cute loves (at the shopping mall).

it looks like it was going to rain. but it didnt. :/

last weekends, i had an assignment to be a temp at a condo's showflat. my condo unit was damm beautiful and costed a million plus. i felt rather scared sometimes, because got construction workers outside my unit. then im alone on the 14th floor. but of course, its i think too much lol. going toilet was quite a problem, because no key to lock so must go fast fast. oh i met apple and tuck keong, who happened to be leslie's classmates. they worked same as me as temps, such coincidential. so tuck keong will always buy lunch for us, and on the first day his lunch went missing. but luckily the manager paid him back, because some sales person ate his lunch. im really glad to be friends with them, made the job experience more fun. and also appreciates my dear buta who will dine with me after work.

on the first day, the manager and boss wanted me to put on makeup. so that night my mama and i bought makeup tools. so for the first time, i put on makeup on the second day of work, which was also the last day. my manager checked that i put on makeup when i reported to work and said i was better looking, so did the boss. one customer said the boss picky picky when he told them about it, really very cute.

the view from the living room. the lake looks dirty like milo but the scenery is still wonderful with trees, clouds and towers of the chinese garden.

these flowers are really lovely. they are very strong too, still as beautiful on the second day.


that was the end. i really enjoyed the job, even though my feet and back are aching now. i sprained my thumb a little too, because i pulled the bedsheets too hard. x) the manager and boss were kind enough to offer me a job, to be a real properties sales person. but i am 19 currently, and the legal age for that job is 21. too bad then, my mama suggested that i could do temp to gain experience and also can do others to know which job really suits me. even though i do not understand about investments, but it was still fun to talk to customers and the sales people there. it could be a joy to have your clients who finally found their ideal home. true enough buying a house isnt like shopping, like buying a branded bag, because spoilt already can throw and buy a new one. a home is far more expensive and it has to last for a very long period. though i know nuts about properties now, i think i will still have to learn for future aspects. anyway this weekend they have another open house, but i already had another assignment (also under Far East Organisation) to be a temp admin at novena square 2. so disappointed when my manager asked me, i really like him. anyway the other assignment sounds pretty scary, its a 7 days per week job for 4 weeks! do visit me sometime when you pass by. :D but i need to off one day to go school try out and collect graduation attire, which looks like a priest outfit. hope i wont feel "OH MAN, WHY AM I DOING THIS" lol. i did feel that way during the first day when i was alone for almost 2 hours in the condo. i didnt even dare to shut my eyes, afraid that i really doze off and everybody who comes in will stare at me.

oh i watched Bee Movie, Meet the Robinsons and Barbie movies. all very very nice! but watch nonstop and had a terrible headache. xD must enjoy before the crazy assignment starts. im dreaming to go for a hot jacuzzi.

i feel like a little child whose life has just begun

for once i really cried my heart out.
and it wasnt because i read a touching article.
or ive watched a touching scene.
felt so dampened, getting really fed up from all these.
the mixture of anger and upsetness is stressing me.
time seemed to have stopped for a long while.
how long will it take to let it start ticking once again?

yesterday my throat was super choked up. i could feel and taste that whole lot of toxic, but cannot get it out of my bloody throat! argh! when can i be better and never have an inflammed throat and let me eat what i want and like? boo! anyway during sunday, for once in my life, i had to wake up damm early and reach east coast park at 6.30am in the morning. the sun wasnt even shining for goodness sake! it wasnt as bad in the end, i had fun and i was energetic until night. :) the marathon was rather unique, its a couples' marathon where they had to finish the run together. whether by carrying, holding hands or any ways to also strengthen their bonds. then there was the 120$ worth of goodie bag, super heavy because of the big bottle of ribena. there were many magazines in it, and i enjoyed reading the articles about married couples very much.

they inspired me.

during the past, i never thought about marriage. i even thought i could be like my aunt, single and rich. why not have fun all the time with all the money you earned? but then, i dont think that fun and money would be so lasting. and i think she became nun (due to her loyalty to buddhism). :/ recently, my (adult) friend at church told me i look like someone who will marry early. it surprised me, do i really look like one? im always someone who is afraid of commitments and promises. ive never liked the word "forever" or even the "爱你一万年" thingy, i dont believe in such matters.

so anyway after reading those articles, they really inspired me. they inspired me to look for the right one. i also want to have that "he is the right one" feeling and of course he must feel the same way. i believe that a guy, when he finds his right one, the girl is beautiful in his eyes every single day no matter how she looks like and loves her the way she is inside out and he will take care of her regardless of how much it takes. ive read an article of a 40-years couple and got moved to tears by their love story. its very cute how he said that her legs are very nice even shes 64 now, and how she will sniff him before bed every night because she likes his smell and also that she likes his body. :) and lastly, i will want to grow with him, not just growing old together, but to grow overall as a person and as the half of him. i feel the beauty of having xxx is when two persons become as one, and i think thats the only matter that is beautiful in mind. if you read karma sutra, each story is written beautifully (actually they are xxx positions if you dont know). but then in real life, they sound pretty difficult to perform so probably wont be that beautiful. HAHA.

actually all these sound like crap, even to me. but it really is about the thought of the future! one day you will still have to think about your future. :D currently my priority is still my studies. because i always feel its a one-time, one-opportunity thing, so just study hard, give in my best effort and get it over once and for all. everything will be paid off when true hard work is presented, for what i believe. next time career will probably be my priority, earn lots of money and go for my dream to get my self interior-designed house.

some pictures:


biscuits and horoscope keychain (sadly in green) given by kaisheng from japan. thanks! i still have biscuits, want to try some?


"carpark" storage for my sister's toy cars. most of the cars are in disney's prints, super cute.


my shared psp slim. the theme is so yummy; the icons are in biscuits form. its so creative.


donald duck! banana biscuits! disney's prints! woohoo!


i found goofy and alice in wonderland. :D


delighted with the smell of my washed rabbit. i just realised that nights without a soft toy beside me felt weird.

i feel i need maintanence. x) ciaos.