for once i really cried my heart out.
and it wasnt because i read a touching article.
or ive watched a touching scene.
felt so dampened, getting really fed up from all these.
the mixture of anger and upsetness is stressing me.
time seemed to have stopped for a long while.
how long will it take to let it start ticking once again?
yesterday my throat was super choked up. i could feel and taste that whole lot of toxic, but cannot get it out of my bloody throat! argh! when can i be better and never have an inflammed throat and let me eat what i want and like? boo! anyway during sunday, for once in my life, i had to wake up damm early and reach east coast park at 6.30am in the morning. the sun wasnt even shining for goodness sake! it wasnt as bad in the end, i had fun and i was energetic until night. :) the marathon was rather unique, its a couples' marathon where they had to finish the run together. whether by carrying, holding hands or any ways to also strengthen their bonds. then there was the 120$ worth of goodie bag, super heavy because of the big bottle of ribena. there were many magazines in it, and i enjoyed reading the articles about married couples very much.
they inspired me.
during the past, i never thought about marriage. i even thought i could be like my aunt, single and rich. why not have fun all the time with all the money you earned? but then, i dont think that fun and money would be so lasting. and i think she became nun (due to her loyalty to buddhism). :/ recently, my (adult) friend at church told me i look like someone who will marry early. it surprised me, do i really look like one? im always someone who is afraid of commitments and promises. ive never liked the word "forever" or even the "爱你一万年" thingy, i dont believe in such matters.
so anyway after reading those articles, they really inspired me. they inspired me to look for the right one. i also want to have that "he is the right one" feeling and of course he must feel the same way. i believe that a guy, when he finds his right one, the girl is beautiful in his eyes every single day no matter how she looks like and loves her the way she is inside out and he will take care of her regardless of how much it takes. ive read an article of a 40-years couple and got moved to tears by their love story. its very cute how he said that her legs are very nice even shes 64 now, and how she will sniff him before bed every night because she likes his smell and also that she likes his body. :) and lastly, i will want to grow with him, not just growing old together, but to grow overall as a person and as the half of him. i feel the beauty of having xxx is when two persons become as one, and i think thats the only matter that is beautiful in mind. if you read karma sutra, each story is written beautifully (actually they are xxx positions if you dont know). but then in real life, they sound pretty difficult to perform so probably wont be that beautiful. HAHA.
actually all these sound like crap, even to me. but it really is about the thought of the future! one day you will still have to think about your future. :D currently my priority is still my studies. because i always feel its a one-time, one-opportunity thing, so just study hard, give in my best effort and get it over once and for all. everything will be paid off when true hard work is presented, for what i believe. next time career will probably be my priority, earn lots of money and go for my dream to get my self interior-designed house.
some pictures:
biscuits and horoscope keychain (sadly in green) given by kaisheng from japan. thanks! i still have biscuits, want to try some?
"carpark" storage for my sister's toy cars. most of the cars are in disney's prints, super cute.
my shared psp slim. the theme is so yummy; the icons are in biscuits form. its so creative.
donald duck! banana biscuits! disney's prints! woohoo!
i found goofy and alice in wonderland. :D
delighted with the smell of my washed rabbit. i just realised that nights without a soft toy beside me felt weird.
i feel i need maintanence. x) ciaos.