its always better when we are together

sometimes life gets so tired. every morning i would wake up thinking, why wont i forget who am i? or forget that i have a boyfriend, close friends and people i wish to see. its pretty interesting how we rest for hours, and when we wake up, every single matter in our minds still remained. then sometimes (is it because life is too plain or boring) i would create stories for myself, with my imagination. other times i would think about the day's events and how i would act in another way. i wont be shy to admit i create dialogues and talks to myself. im like an actress, just that im my own world. well, since im always thinking so much. that probably burnt my brain cells and caused me to be forgetful.

anyway on tuesday, in the afternoon i went to direct chinaik to a ntuc dental clinic he was appointed to. was pretty mad moreover on a hot day, i had to walk to the interchange and fetch chinaik and his sister, then walked back to near my house where the dental clinic was, and then walked back to interchange to meet ferline and konghong. coincidentally, i was right on time which they setted but certainly, i had to wait. konghong reached not long later, and then ferline reached the last. after that we headed to funan digitalife mall to collect ferline's stuffs, that was our motive of the day. anyway we then decided to go bugis, by legs. at first we walked wrong way, and then we saw the colourful windows on a building and i recalled when going to bugis from church, so we then walked the right way down. it was really a rather long journey, pretty tiring but at least it was the right route. save money and good for health. xD after we reached bugis, we went to buy what we craved for during the journey. konghong's tako pachi, ferline's water and my uzumaki ice cream. now ive tried the blueberry ice cream, green tea and wasabi will be next! oh yay, why is blueberry ice cream purple? because its berry! anyway we also visited johnson selling Lavender mooncake, he was pretty busy. so we went to walk walk, and we also went to see the hotair balloon. its super BIG and super yellow and super high, in the day see beautiful scenery, in the night see sparkling lights. cool eh? but i wonder 23$ for one ride, and 33$ for day and night, expensive or not? so later on, ronald, gwyneth and weixiong then reached already. we then walk walk around, because weixiong wanted to shop for bag while ronald wanted to buy slippers. after that we had dinner at the food court while competing time, and then went up to watch John Tucker Must Die, but was late. dont know what was the starting part, went in was already the starting of revenge. anyway the movie was okay, the story probably quite expected so wasnt extremely nice. next movie, STAY ALIVE ya? after that we went down to the arcade, and i saw a guy with bags of big toys. rich ass. and didnt get to see kokmeng, oww. after that we went to slack at the lan shop, i think the atmosphere was nice but 2.10-2.60$ pretty expensive. later on we decided to take bus home, and we went on seperate buses. home sweet home.

wednesday was kaisheng's birthday, and we went out to celebrate. actually i wanted to buy something for him, but nobody bought presents before for anybody's birthday so was kind of shy, later they thought i bias or 暗恋 him. next time then treat him eat, because he got treat me eat before. :) so we met at plazaSingapura and i was the second to reach after kaisheng. after that was chinaik then darren. darren's hair was weird but quite style, also look like ah long to me. later chinaik, kaisheng and me played Mario go-karts then, never tried before. it was SUPER fun, we had to take a picture and will show our friends' faces while driving. so it was damm funny because we all made funny faces! i kept laughing throughout the game (kee siao already), but i was first, followed by kaisheng then chinaik. very fun game, lets play again some other time! after that i played puzzleFighter, kaisheng sabotaged me. i asked "use 50cents arh?", maybe he didnt hear properly he said yay. but actually it was token, made me embarrassed when the techician took out the 50cents coin and asked me to change. then i played until round2 only he challenged me already, of course i could never win. kaisheng so pro, want to disturb me only. but he treated me another token, want to kick my ass again only (LOL just kidding, thanks lah). :x later nigel and harrold reached, and we went to play LAN already while waiting for shawn and jasper. nigel's hair i think very style, only sometimes his front looks weird. and shawn said he want to shave his hair and then tattoo it, crazy fella. but i think if everybody like that change hairstyle, our group sure look damm outstanding in school. xD anyway we played dota one match then, with battle.net peeps and we lost. but it was hilarious, we kept shouting "help me" and laughing at darren because he fed opposite team with two heroes (plus leaver's). kaisheng is such a KSer! :) shawn reached first then, and we went plazaSingapura again to wait for jasper. after that we went swensens to eat already, except chinaik and his friend nicholas went somewhere else. we ate finish already, nigel, jasper and kaisheng then went toilet. luckily they still offer free ice cream for birthday peeps, and we ordered the birthday ice cream for kaisheng. wanted him to eat the ice cream with his mouth, but too bad they didnt fancy pranks. and darren kept rushing, damm impatient. didnt know why i found it funny that he had to finish the whole sundae by himself (thats why i kept smiling lah), but i had cherries. why people dont like cherries?

after eating then he thought of taking picture.
the cherries became sticks only. after that they wanted to go MOS already, it was fine. i will have my chance, im a good girl okay. so then i went home already. reached home rather early, but was pretty tired so i slept early. every night i couldnt really sleep until 3-4am plus, and i had to wake up 10am-12pm because of my sister. thats why im rather tired without knowing sometimes. anyway was really glad that kaisheng had his "best bday ever". :)

im a happy kid.

to take the forbidden steps, is this something that i must go on

hello, today is the day where a Singapore Idol is born. but in my heart, my idol will always be JONATHON leong. teehee* ive got to admit, im very fond of him since the first day i heard his voice. but too bad, hes too far to be close to, hes 23 and he said he dont date younger girls (LOL). :x i did vote for him, when i dialed his number i was expecting to hopefully hear his voice. in the end it was gurmit's and he was "thank you for supporting Singapore Idol", for all television shows its the usual. i was pretty glad when ken told jonathon "this is just your beginning, you can be a regional star", like quite bias right. but its all good, from last Singapore Idol and this season's, it was like more mature. everybody was talented and not so sloppy and play play like last season's. its all good, but too bad probably the chinese support Project Superstar and didnt even care about Singapore Idol, so.. anyway jonathon wore a lot of suits, and i think the most outstanding one would be the red one.

he looked so charming and valentiono.
:) hope i could get to see him again, and more. dont just stop here.

so today i went shopping with my mother and sister. we went bishan, shopped for a lot of things. in total spent about 300$, shopping spree! was quite happening too, i saw tuckyong and isaac selling mooncakes. then they said my hair weird, but never mind. my mother then bought a mooncake from them, she said their Lavender mooncake actually quite dry. she also freaked out when she found out it was a johor brand. :x after that we went back again, because my mother saw they had no seats at all, had to keep standing. then we tried the snow skinned mooncake, like not bad so bought a black sesame one for me since never seen before also. after that we went to visit sinyee, also selling mooncake and my mother bought from her one too. she like didnt recognise my mother, i was behind her and she saw me then recognised us. :D after that went to a shop to see long necklace, it costs 20$ so expensive! hope i can find a cheaper one, quite nice though. and then saw benson, he recognised me from the back. maybe because of what i wore, and benson's reaction was laugh. but never mind, sooner or later have to get use to it okay. wednesday also going to meet my m501 friends, dont know what will be their reactions. but nigel also changed hairstyle, MOHAWK style! damm style, looked kind of weird too.

anyway im being closer and closer of changing my style too. im going to be rockPrincess, or just punkish emily. but i havent bought my ideal socks.

the black and red long socks.

and this is really cute with lace on top.
hopefully when im rich, i will certainly buy a tall boots for myself. now i find maryJanes cute, someday i should own one of these pairs.

then i find gloves too overboard, probably wont get those. and i hope to get red and black skirts, or black skirts/pants with laces.

and oh yay, found a new Swatch watch a catch. i want, i want, i want! its call Freckle, cute eh?

click it for a closer view.
:) wishing too much?

rIkku88ciA plays AuditonSEA

sunday
met benson at 2pm to go tuckyong house, and we were the first to reach (because gwyneth and ferline just woke up). later on, gwyneth then ferline then isaac reached. and i watched Cars but tuckyong's sister needed the laptop to go overseas so watched halfway only. so benson, gwyneth, ferline and tuckyong then played their mahjong, i then asked isaac to play go!fish with me. didnt have anything better to do. then we played Donkey, but halfway playing realised the donkey card was gone, and suspected should be mixed up into our decks. so we were playing a pointless game. xD then konghong reached, and yaungai and weixiong reached later. didnt know so many people were going to tuckyong's place, thought they were playing mahjong only. so didnt have anything to do, we played Donkey first. though it seemed like a lame game, but its still pretty funny and exciting especially left with lesser and lesser cards. after that, they went out to share ps2 while i slacked around. oh i was holding onto haixing's toy then he told his grandmother that i was holding his toy, then have to give him back. so cute, cannot touch his toy, all his. hes really cute, i get to carry him and hear him say "bao bao". somemore hes so light not like my sister. but my sister still more cute, laugh very easily. teeheex* later a bit, leslie came then we were all inside the room slacking. after they finished their round of mahjong we went down for dinner already, and most of us had zhu chao. we splitted ourselves to two tables, then a while later i changed seats with isaac to join benson they all. because, i dont talk about dota and especially not soccer. then we changed seats already, but luckily isaac ordered the same dish as mine, quite a coincidence. after eating, we went back to tuckyong's place. and they watched their soccer match, while i played daidee with weixiong, isaac and gwyneth. my luck was rather good that time, all the rounds i had either spade2 or heart2 or both. first round had the three biggest 2s, so i won quite a few rounds from then. :D after that we went inside the room to play Scrabble. we then splitted into 3 groups, benson and gwyneth (newly formed PorkLard), ferline and konghong, then tuckyong and me. starting we scored quite high, then we got one zer0 because we didnt have any words and passed. around the end, benson and gwyneth's group was winning, ferline was giving up then tuckyong used his handphone to check for a "Z" (10 points) word. then really got that word in handphone dictionary, so we WON. thanks to the word "zed" we won by 7 points, quite funny. that word got inside dictionary, it actually is the pronunciation for "z" lah. and fancy me, from young i thought "z" is pronounce as "zee" or "zec", but now then i know its "zed". xD after that, gwyneth went home already. then we started to play free mahjong game. my luck was really quite good, i won a few rounds. we play if who give the winner tile, will be out then one new player can join. and if 自摸 all three out, so three new players can play. then got one round, isaac kept say 自摸, and it did happen. i had 自摸, when after i see benson then yaungai then my turn. but funnily, konghong said he havent throw a tile. woots, but i think its the same results at the end? so happily three new players came in, and i lost but had to go home already. :D then all went home also, except benson, ferline and konghong and going to play until overnight.

tuesday
i went plaza singapura's jean yip to have a new hairstyle. i always said anything to the hairdresser, as long it suits me. so i wanted something different and updated. the male hairdresser then said he will perm my whole hair, he said will be very nice and suits my face shape. i couldnt really imagine so i said alright. doing perm was so suffering, my head had to be in a "mircowave" for 10mins and i was nearly dying. the chemical pained my eyes and my head was burning. at the end result, i got something REALLY different. he told me i look wild too, and styled my hair until real BOOMbastic. :s i went home straight away wash, though by right should 3days dont wash because of the chemical. so now im quite used to my hair already, and i dont think i will do that to my hair again. next time i want to choose from a book of hairstyles or find a picture which i like. so showing you this is me now~

see now, and get used to it okay!

thursday
at night i had 辣椒螃蟹, 麦片虾, 白骨王 and 榨菜, all the good foods from 煮炒. :D then i realised everytime i eat chilli crabs, i will think of 大哥哥 zhansheng. because he cooked chilli crabs for us to eat before at his half-house. then i will think of my birthday, will he organise go his half-house where they will cook and we celebrate together again? it was really very memorable, and needless to say, meaningful and so much of thoughtfulness. i wonder when will i get to see and have the photos we took during my birthday, i must find! though it was quite long ago, but it still felt dearly close to the heart as though it just happened. :)

friday
quite sad that my winding toy monkey died. dont know why couldnt wind it, then the spring seemed to cok up inside. spoilt already! i dont think can find another of this monkey already.

i will miss winding you up to jump.
sobs* anyway ive finished watching 5 movies i rented: bewitched, shaggy dog, an american haunting, tristan+isolde, date movie. the movies were all good, except an american haunting. probably because i was not in the cinema where the sound system is better, it was rather boring. wasnt very scary, but its interesting that a girl could have a spirit thingy to protect herself and harm others due to emotional stress. because it was based on a true american record, the spiritual thingy really can do happen. so boys, better dont provoke us girls. :D date movie was funny, but kind of bo liao and the story was quite dull. bewitched was very entertaining, i still adore nicole kidman. shaggy dog was funny, touching and exciting, the beginning part was pretty unexpected. a 300 years old dog, from some buddhism place, and did medication. :s and i enjoyed tristan+isolde a lot, because of its story. it was almost like romeo&juliet (but before romeo&juliet was tristan+isolde), but more complicated.

their countries, britain and irish were enemies. tristan's families were killed during a big attack, and he was saved by the britain king who became almost a father to him. he was a very strong and tough warrior, but during a fight he was poisoned and claimed dead. he was then sent away in a boat to the sea, where he drifted to an island where the irish princess isolde found him wasnt dead and cured him. they then fell in love, but isolde told tristan to leave as it wasnt safe. though they had parted, their love was strong. soon the irish king planned for a warriors fight, the prize was marriage of the irish princess. tristan won then, but the prize was meant for the britain king. isolde then married to the britain king, and both of their hearts soured. but that didnt stop them from meeting secretly and making love (i think its funny that isolde sure in quite a lot of pain, unless she enjoyed having sex. every night with britain king also sex, every time meet tristan also sex. anyway its movie). then a traitor in britain found something wrong with isolde and tristan, so he told the irish king a plan so he could be king. the irish king agreed. meanwhile the britain king told tristan that he found a bracelet (actually given by tristan) and he suspected isolde to have a guy behind his back. as the britain king was tristan's only kin, he assured him that isolde only loved the king. soon the irish visited britain with a big army behind but the irish king said they were just guarding him, wont go on shore (you believe that crap?!). during the dance and feast, tristan was asked by the britain king to dance with isolde. tristan then left as he was also trying to avoid isolde. isolde then said she wasnt feeling well, and she left. but tristan and isolde went to meet in the forest, but the traitor told the king and everybody to go out for a night ride as tradition and the couple was caught. the irish king then purposely claimed that there will be a war because the britain had contempted his daughter to be a whore (he kept giving his daughter away, when he ever cared?). isolde then told the britain king their whole story, and soon they were setted free. but tristan had to save his country, and he went back. the britain castle was then closed, but the traitor since young knew a secret passage way into the castle and brought an army in with him. tristan also knew that passage way, and he fought fiercely inside the castle. he was then stabbed on the chest, but he bravely opened the gate with the head of the traitor. britain certainly with tristan was stronger, the irish king was then hated. and they had a war within themselves, the britain king then brought tristan near the river where isolde then went there and they were together once again. wherever you are, you know i will always be by your side.

run:how far" jump:how high" love:unconditionally"

wednesday
went interchange to top up my card, then kaisheng smsed me if the outing could be the next day. i told him never say earlier, was outside already. so we were supposed to meet at bugis, i tried taking bus there (anyway got a lot of time). didnt have any hard feelings, maybe because cried the night before, and i could solo shopping what. :p anyway i reached first, and i looked around, still no sight of N72. and later on, my results sms came, goodness i had a GS. was rather happy, but most of my friends have two supplimentary papers to go for. GOOD LUCK to you all! later kaisheng reached, and the rest, dont think they going already. pang seh~ oh kaisheng had a new hairstyle, not bad. i having mine real soon, you know you know. anyway we went arcade, watched him play his game, was rather exciting. played quite a number of rounds, so quite saddening when he lost. after that walked around, bought the Uzumaki black sesame ice cream. yum, with all those whole black sesame seeds. next time i want to try the green tea flavour, then the wasabi and the berry. oh still got swensens nutty ice creams, i havent try hazelnut and peanut one! after that we walked to suntec, and due to the IMF some paths were closed. we then went carrefour to buy drinks, and he bought some sushi too. after that went up to the tikkum machines there, all still there. played the black and white pig machine, first capsule i had it before, dumb white pig. then change coins and finally get a black pig pendant (yeah i got both pigs). if you all dont know, i could do this.

use my teeth to cut open.
kaisheng said i bite until quite neat, still say want to try. i scared later your teeth spoil, dont blame me. :p after that we walked to toys'r'us and fooled around a bit. played the tennis demo on the xbox360, who won? me 3-1 kaisheng, LOL i damm proud already. :x quite fun, then got red fur stucked on his hair. why? because guys like to put gel on their hair for style, and it really sticks. anyway after that we tried to walk to marinaSquare, but many paths were closed. Irritating Meeting Plan made our roads inconvenient, boo. so we walked down, and decided to have dinner already. we planned to walk to douby ghaut to take mrt. x) saw the delication board didnt have many people so we made a delication.

then we went to justNoodles, but couldnt really hear if the song did play. ordered the set meal, because its quite value for money. confirm will full, and have free flow of drinks also. yeah free flow of peach tea, orange juice, and 4 choices of coffee.

his set at the front, mine back.
tried a cup of cuppacino, didnt taste really good. nearly vomitted as we walk. we had our long journey then, went marina square, then to city hall, to raffles place shopping centre, then walked to a long road, then to the cathay, and finally douby ghaut mrt station. where we parted and went home.

thursday
afternoon woke up, i went to bought food back for my mother. my sister cried when i had to leave, so i brought her along. she walked all the way without asking me to carry. after leslie had his interview, we met and went to watch Monster House! though its quite long ago already, and its cartoon, i think its a nice show. the characters really look quite real, i like the way they move their mouths (talk lah). :) before that, had 5$ starbucks voucher so i bought a banana muffin while he ordered a berry ice blended. after the movie, we went to had dinner at longJohn. their chips quite nice, because got CHEESE, but was rather salty. oh i saw a dress real awesome, but its 99$ and too big for me. :( later we decided to walk down to orchard, then to farEast to take bus. we went taka first and visited boonliang there. he worked for lavender mooncake, and wore purple head to toe. hey its nice though. after that we continued to walk and i decided to sit down, because of indigestion. everyday indigestion, arghh. sat at the fountain, and leslie took pictures of us with his handphone.

"take pictures again"

"ok take nicely"

"pinch pinch"

"can stop already"

"lets do stupid faces"

"eh why got red light"

"ah, got red light!"

"my turn to be pig"
dumb dumb, after that took a picture of the tree. with two balls. i like the trees, they look cute. red with white pokka dots.

and we took bus home.

today
was supposed to go swimming with leslie, in the end rained. everything prepared already became like that. wasted my hair conditioner, wasted my time tying my hair, but never mind. he also poor thing failed two modules, so i accompanied him. oh we wore our couple tee, cute.

his has an arrow with "Shoot.."
my heart has a bullseye thingy in the middle, you see. anyway since couldnt swim, we went to his house. apparently i went there to eat, sleep and watch television. really ate quite a lot, lunch was mee pok bought by his grandfather. then had yakult and apple jelly, and i slept after that. slept quite long, maybe was really tired. i even dreamt of me eating fries with my mother, and an auntie waitress accidentally poured drinks onto my shirt. then i no happy, she gave me 80cents coins. dinner had hokkien mee bought by his parents, and carrot cake strips. drank milk, and ate two snow skinned mooncake, because very delicious got 瓜子 (melon seeds). left his home after watching channel u's incredible tales, and went down to the night market and saw so many food! bread prawn balls, goreng pisangs, sausages, candy floss, chicken wings, kuehs. and feel like trying roti john and the malay burgers. but i bought home these thai kuehs only, because my mother also like to eat.

so cute right the "fruits".
also, i found these on my table. should be my parents bought for me to eat. yum yum yan yan.

cheese, chocolate with rainbow, strawberry and chocolate double cream.

if you feel like i feel, know what i know

yesterday, my father:
what have you contributed for this home?
if you dont want to study.
marry off like your that guy friend.
if you like to play so much.
stay with your friends and play all you like.
you know how much the bills each month.

i never talk back.
because i know never will you listen.
it hurted. i cried until i was breathless.
as i heard you and mother talking in the room.
want to know something?

i did chores, took care of sister.
iron your clothes and brother's.
thats what i contributed.
i did upon requests and that im capable of.
and when i did, you were never at home.
thats why you dont see, you DONT KNOW.

i like to study.
do you ever KNOW i excelled well?
yes, you provided the money.
you saved money for me to go U.
i studied for myself, and also for WHO?
my family.. my father, my mother.
because you provided me to go school.
yet you accused me for not wanting to study.

i like to play.
because i have nothing better to do.
i know you have to pay the bills.
you, mother and brother everyday on aircon.
on television for sister whole day.
brother, mother and me plays computer.
and you never show us the bills.
why is it just me you complain to?

life is unfair.
why brother never get caught.
while i always do.

you shouted
"i was sleeping" for his case.
and my case, "you think i dont know".
"he follows you" when he is sec1 already.
i never before, in my life, plays until 4am.

you looked down on people eh?
on me its fine, but you dont even know my friend.
you think everybody is bad, because you were.
pa pa, you make me feel miserable.

stop this pain of mine

that day when i opened my cardboard and saw the file containing all the cards i recieved, i decided to take out and read all of them. there were so many people who sent me cards, like my primary school mates: yijun, huilin, tracy, meiling, joyce, my library teacher.. and my secondary school mates: farhanah, shuhua, pearlene, ferline.. there were funny cards such as from steven when he tried to woo me and gave me a card full of loves during valentines day, a mothers day card from tuckyong when i was his lao bu during secondary school days, birthday card written clownly by johnson and zhenquan, and ugly handwritten yet so thoughtful cards from zhansheng. oh there was also a sand picture made by zhansheng, rather sweet when i think back. :) anyway felt that some people come and go, but no matter the distance, no matter its evidence or just the memory, they are all close at heart. probably that we could not turn back, we still should not regret what we have done, rather to regret what we did not do. just to let you know, i will always care for you with my abilities. you are appreciated, cherished, and never forgotten. because you have stepped in, walked with me and be part of my life.

anyway found craps, *laughs.





-Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
-Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
-Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
-Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
-Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

ps: wishlist, i want these.
check
check

this darkness comes creeping so haunting everytime

yesterday went out with nigel, chinaik, kaisheng and darren for a movie. i sort of wanted that outing, because i didnt want to accompany leslie and friends. anyway we met 3pm at douby ghaut, setted by darren. before going out, i started to sneeze real bad. got SICKED, down with a flu. my nose was like a running tap, kept dripping non stop. but i still went and on the way there in mrt, i met nigel. i was rather close to him, so i tried looking at him and even waved my hand a bit, but he didnt see me. so i went in front of him, then we talked until we reach there. we walked a bit at plazaSingapura then chinaik reached. after a while, kaisheng said he and darren were at arcade. when we asked to meet somewhere, he said still playing game. sigh we waited for them, and they were rather irresponsible. later we went to theCathay first, and asked the latecomers to queue for the movie tickets. we had a lot of time before the movie starts, so we walked around. we then redeemed the vouchers and went coffeeBean to use our 5$ voucher. initially wanted to buy candies, but the guys didnt want so i took a raisin scone and kaisheng ordered a chocolatey muffin. after that we went up and slacked at the big sofa. actually got nothing to do at theCathay, so we just watch the "television". later on, our movie started already and we went in, Little Man was our movie. it was a nc16 movie, so got some sexual humour. honestly i really enjoys some sexual humour movies, funny what. anyway that movie can laugh all the way, so its a worth movie. :D moreover there were touching scenes too, because its about the love of family. so its a very enjoyable movie, Little Man where there were a lot of blacks. after the movie, we went to plazaSingapura's kfc but it was full. so we walked all the way to cineleisure and had burgerKing. after chinaik and nigel ordered their meals, kaisheng then took out his coupons for BK, and i took a coupon. we then talked about the bintan (club med) trip. its 518$ for 3days 2nights and the travel fares, food, rooms, play all inside that package. but my father said its not worth, as sure will spend more on leisure and others, so i guess i couldnt go already. also good? save the weirdness of sharing the same room with a guy. after a while, kaisheng said "candy" and we turned, saw candy was at the escalator and she saw us. after that we went to find her, so that kaisheng could give her the present he kept in his bag for so long. he was real nervous, he stoned outside longJohn, and we supported him to go in. after that he past her the presents, and left. could see his hands were still trembling, but felt happy for him. after that we all took mrt, and the red line was rather crowded. so nigel alighted at toa payoh with me, and i accompanied him to hire a cab home. all the taxis were taken by the people before us, and when we waited there wasnt any taxi. how unlucky. later on we changed place and got taxi already, and he went home while i walked home.

today was a bad day, got some thoughts into myself. at night was supposed to meet for gwyneth's birthday celebration, so the guys told me 9.30pm at bishan buzz. i walked to braddell mrt and took mrt down bishan then. but i waited 20mins and my heart suddenly turned sour, my throat twisted and i went to find a toilet and cried. never knew beside kiddyPalace has a toilet, since its deserted it was even better. i couldnt stop crying, i felt real bad. i was sick, so didnt feel that well especially when i still had to wait. probably due to the flu, i felt damm hot and sweaty somemore, its so pek chek and gek xim then. when ferline called me, i could bear a bit and said where i was, then she said will wait for me. after that i continued crying, and i still couldnt stop so i smsed her to tell her about it and sorry to make her wait. then she smsed me she was at sembawang cd store, and call her when i was done. i thought she was so heartless so stopped crying, but it was just coincidential she smsed me, because after that she replied that she go look for me. after that i started crying when leslie called me, then she came and we left to find them together. was pretty low mood, sorry (gwyneth) to be like that during her birthday. she was then sabotaged to sing herself the birthday song at the bus interchange, it was rather embarrassing for her i guess. but was quite fun, even strangers also know its her birthday today. well after that cut cake and i took a bite only, never like sore throat feeling.

what i thought was, why care for others when they dont care about you? i dont really understand why people be so irresponsible and dont think for others. if they knew i will never be very late, why have to let me wait? moreover to go somewhere else first during the meeting time, and didnt even tell me about it. why should people whom i trust wholeheartedly treat me like that? to believe that the time and the place setted is for us to meet, or its just for me to be a fool and suffer. i dont know am i being sensitive or thinking too much, but thats what i think and feel. and it really upsets me, it hurts.

never look back, but i miss you so

i have got into 3D Design and Visualization for my course, yeah! was really excited when kaisheng and shawn told me could know the option already. and i got into what i want, am really glad. at least got into the option which i had most interest in. :D today didnt do anything, slacked at home. watched my usual 7pm and 9pm shows while eating my favourite tibit (hack fat, long time never eat).

yum yum, even it loves me.
then drank that jia jia liang teh jr, today actually drank two cans already. felt a bit heaty after playing computer games, so drank to cool down. oh then my sister have got new costumes, so i played along with her today too.

im cowgirl and shes farmgirl.
after taking that photo, i think my home clothes are pretty orbiang. but doesnt matter, thats what i wear at home. nobody wants to see me also. x) so thats what i did today, apparently nothing.

yesterday woke up, my mother and sister werent at home. i was still sleeping, then my brother called me to ask what i want to eat. he actually offered to buy food for us both, how nice of him (rarely he will be so keen). after much discussions, he bought macdonald's for our lunch. after that i went to leslie's house, he was really sweet to cycle all the way to my house. just to lend me his bus card as he had concession, i dont. i had no confidence on him to cycle me to his place, im scared. anyway though he kept saying how fast he was, he still reached his place slower than me. he bought me one whole box of cubic-room volume 3 (10 boxes inside) and another two boxes of cubic-room volume 2, they were meant for our 8th monthsary.

they are so cute!

our puppies.
notice that the pink heart shape cubic is a mystery one for each volume, so lucky. and for the volume 3, ive got a grey rabbit for the mystery one. they are all so adorable (and furry), though my fingers hurt from opening all of them at once. it was too bad that he didnt get the dog i most like. still, thanks a lot darling. <3 then he also burnt for me justinTimberlake's futureSex loveSounds cd for me. his songs wasnt as good as i thought, it was because of sexyBack i wanted his cd. but not all his songs was like that hip, for slower hits allOverAgain is alright. had dinner at his house, his mother cooked and he also cooked fried soya eggs for us. he then told me that his mother said i cook for them next time. but for the truth, even being a girl, i dont really know how to cook and i dont really cook. even i do, i like to add weird edible food into my food, for myself to eat. i like cheese or milo or mushroom soup or what yum with my instant noodles, but its quite good you know. anyway after that watched television from 7pm until myLovely kimSamSoon finishes, i went home and leslie accompanied me. :) samSoon and that guy's "love" was so hot. they like to hurt and scold each other, yet they actually love each other. sometimes i felt frustrated for them, but sometimes felt they were rather comical.

and on monday, actually leslie asked me to go out. then ferline said she had nothing to do, so i decided to call everybody to go watch movie. :) was playing game with yaungai, weixiong and leslie so i told them about it, and called others. then called gwyneth to set timing, she said 2pm. next day when we met up, weixiong thought last night i say say only. damm funny, so he just woke up when we met already. after that latest was still gwyneth, 3pm+ then reach. so my concept was wrong, i thought she will know what time she is able to make it so setted that timing. by the way, it was ferline's idea. xD after that we went to theCathay to buy our tickets, we had a buy 4 get 1 free offer and there was 8 of us so only can use one. we then went to eat ben&jerry's ice cream to get stamps, they had real cute and comfortable seats at their mini lounge. and we really helped ourselves well with the free flow of water. ;) after that had nothing better to do already, and still had quite a long while until the movie starts. slacked a bit at adidas shop, admired some of their shoes and clothings. then ferline, gwyneth and me went down to admire and observe the parrotfishes at the indoor pond. awhile later the rest came down also, and observed the fishes too. walked around and we went for our movie already~ loveWrecked was quite nice and funny, amandaBynes always has funny expressions. the last part very funny, the rock star had a "forced to marry" wife and she was dancing on stage with him, he kept looking >_> at her as she was rather crazy (especially that she was mad about him). after that we had dinner at plazaSingapura's food court, and then went to the arcade upstairs. awhile later we went to the x-zone arcade near the mrt as there cheaper, but i didnt bring my TAPZ card. played a round of houseOftheDead4 and was better already, though still not used to it. played a few other games and we left, to beside's lanshop. where crazily, everybody played maplestory, audition and pangya there. anyway the rate there is different: 4$ for first hour, after that its free. maybe next time could try there, if there are no people so could get a lot of free hours. they had free Teenage magazines, because they were outdated last month's issue. i didnt buy, because got yangChenLing. so we grabbed a few copies for ourselves. :D

imitating the cover. :p
and we all went home by mrt, alighting at different stations.

if i had chances, i want to care for everybody, be there for everybody, make everybody happy, tell everybody that i care and i love you, you are not alone.

deep in my soul, i know im weak

took a video of my sister singing and dancing.

i said "go". :x cute eh?

video of her being office girl.
yesterday had my 230-430 afternoon paper, kind of no confident for dynamics as well. after examination, my friends and i went to take 23 to bugis (as always). then walk quite a long distance to plaza singapura for kfc, it was then dinner already and my first meal. after dinner we then went to cineleisure, to play 2 hours of e2max. we had a band of eight inside the cage area, and we started off with dota -wtf mode. i was the host and i didnt know i had to split the modes like '-wtf -ap' rather than the usual '-wtfap', so we just played normally with -wtf. the game was hilarious then, winston got zues, junli got tinker, chinaik got rhasta and i got sniper. my scattershot could get me all the creeps money, and junli's missles got him kills. until level 6 everything was chaotic, rhasta planted wards everywhere and winston just wrath like theres no tomorrow. so this -wtf mode could lead to either laughing or being frustrated. after that we played another round, which i was too late on the mode so we played normally. oh i was using stealthAssasin and winston was using techies, so after the opposite team skeletonKing had gem, i told winston about it. after very very very long, junli typed to allies that "sk got gem", winston and i just suddenly laughed damm loud. anyway i thought we might be losing, in the end my computer hung with weird sounds coming out from the speakers. after that we changed game to DayOfDefeat:Source, yeah my rifleman. first round quite steady with the shots, until changed map i couldnt kill already. i actually like that victory music, its pretty cute and gay. after the 2hours we left and we walked along orchard road. they then said whether darren could buy alcohol from the 7eleven. in the end darren got to buy a can of beer and didnt got check, though nigel kept shouting "hes underage!" LOL. darren then drank the whole can, almost, he poured some on the floor. he didnt really like it, then they tried to test if he was drunk. he was fine, just that funnily he couldnt get his abc right. but he honestly claimed that he dont really know abc. soon we went to near orchard towers, to see she-males and night clubs i guess. i couldnt really see clearly actually, have night blindness and myopia, so i couldnt differentiate the females and she-males there. they were rather bored (or just curious) to walk around the night clubs, kaisheng and i just followed behind talking. after that they suggested to go changiVillage, and wanted to take the maxiCab. but it only takes 7 people, and there were 8 of them. they then walked with me to my bus stop where i took my bus, lisi also took from the bus stop (didnt see her at first). went home already, in the end they didnt go. x) played some dota '-wtf -apsh' mode in battle.net, it was really funny. first round was all necrolyte, then second round was all techies. the necrolyte match needed team work to win, and we just spam our deathPulse all the way together in 5. techies match was super tiring, still -wtf mode is real funny. maybe hope they really ban those "banned heroes" for -wtf mode for next update. :)

*imitated one of dawn's picture style.