Wednesday, March 21, 2007

tell me what i want to hear will be enough

ive been living with a shadow overhead
ive been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
ive been lonely for so long
trapped in the past, i just cant seem to move on

ive been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
just in case i ever need em again someday
ive been setting aside time
to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

all i want to do is find a way back into love
i cant make it through without a way back into love

ive been watching but the stars refuse to shine
ive been searching but i just dont see the signs
i know that its out there
theres gotta be something for my soul somewhere

ive been looking for someone to shed some light
not somebody just to get me through the night
i could use some direction
and im open to your suggestions

all i want to do is find a way back into love
i cant make it through without a way back into love
and if i open my heart again
i guess im hoping you'll be there for me in the end

there are moments when i dont know if its real
or if anybody feels the way i feel
i need inspiration
not just another negotiation

all i want to do is find a way back into love
i cant make it through without a way back into love
and if i open my heart to you
im hoping you'll show me what to do
and if you help me to start again
you know that i'll be there for you in the end


am playing this song in loop currently, find it damm nice. somehow i do find myself that i didnt move on, parts of my heart seem to be stucked in the past. yet im like a fool, waiting for dont know what. currently very bored, kept sleeping my days away, really. i really dont know what better to do, no games interest me, no nothing appeal to me but to laze and do nothing. want to go out somewhere also dont know want to find who suitable to go with, argh saddening! somebody save me please lol. anyway today i watched some mtv before i slept. found out that around afternoon got nice show, especially I Bet You Will which i didnt watch for quite some time. still very fun to watch, hopefully someday singapore has a show like that or even Fear Factor. :D

damm lazy to blog actually, anybody fancy music videos?


christina has many clones.


i think you need a new one.
by the way, notice her high cut (converse look alike) sneakers cum high heels when shes in a blue top. im so loving it, and i dreamt of it yesterday. moreover i dreamt it was nike brand, wished i really have one! :)


is this how we say goodbye?


my friend, longhui, did this cute animation.

i want to go:
MINT museum of toys for 10bucks to see toys, duh.
zoo to see penguins, chicks, butterflies and run through the forest.
st.james powerhouse on wednesday for free entry and five drinks.
swensens for their exclusive lunch set.
japanese restaurant; sakae sushi student buffet or ichiban sushi.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

im happy when you are, will you be sad when i am

i think i could like you
i already do
feelings can grow but
they can go away too
you're takin my hand
lookin into my eyes
dont be in a rush to
get me tonight

feel something happening
could this be a spark?
to satisfy me baby
gotta satisfy my heart

do you know how to touch a girl?
if you want me so much
first i have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
do you care whats on my mind?
or am i just for show?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl

i think i could like you
but i keep holding back
cause i cant seem to tell
if you're fiction or fact
show me you can laugh
show me you can cry
show me who you really are
deep down inside

do you feel something happening?
could this be for real?
i dont know right now but tonight we'll reveal

do you know how to touch a girl?
if you want me so much
first i have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
do you care whats on my mind?
or am i just for show?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl

bring me some flowers
conversation for hours
to see if we really connect
and baby if we do
ooh i'll be giving all my love to you

do you know how to touch a girl?
if you want me so much
first i have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
do you care whats on my mind?
or am i just for show?
you'll go far in this world
if you know how to touch a girl


quite a beautiful song by jojo, first time heard and seen it on mtv channel. i rather like it already. oh guess what, i dropped another 1kg. really have no idea where all the weights are losing from, in total i have lost 5kg already since recently. couldnt see any difference, i still find my tummy, arms and thighs fat. in other words, i dont like them and i wish my tummy is firmer and my arms plus thighs are slimer lol! but those aint important either. nowadays i like to play gunbound, but i felt damm scared when i play long. because the more i play, the more i will anyhow sit on the chair, but actually will become lie between the chair and bed. then will scared become hunchback or what, i dont like! so have to play less, go out more. xD

okay today i recieved a sms from a guy called luis, he was looking for urgent part or full timers. so i called him to ask what is the job, he knows my name and he said he got my contact from a survey i did. which i dont recall doing any survey, unless it was damm long ago. but why call now? anyway he just told me it was sales promoter for some mineral water, and he said to go for interview at eunos there. i thought it was alright, until i told my papa. he asked about the salary, so i had to call back to ask about it. he just told me dont have basic or commission, the working time is flexible like 3 days a week for 4 hours and the pay is according to how much you work and his company will assign me a job. after that all he said was "i hope you can give me a chance lah. just come down and i will tell you more. i can promise you there will be an attractive payout". oh and when he smsed me the venue (as i requested it) it was just a building, i then also asked him where exactly to go, like which storey and unit. he said "after you reach, you give me a call and i will pick you up" which was total stunner. overall i still dont know what exactly the job is about, what exactly is the pay, so my papa totally rejected it and so bye bye (for good i guess). cant find a job to satisfy my parents yet.

yesterday i went out to meet kaisheng and nigel at plaza singapura. after that while waiting for jasper and winston to reach, we went Parklane to play LAN as eGames was full. we played some dota on battle.net and funny thing was the computers we used didnt have v6.42 map. wasted some time trying very hard to download that map from other games, but sure get kicked out. until i joined a taiwan host game, the host actually letted me download the map lol. so kind. then after that we had to try join other host's game for all of us to be able to join, which was another funny thing. dont know is it lag or what, couldnt join the game kaisheng and nigel joined, after many tries then can. oh there was a game when a guy asked if i was playing in the LAN shop, quite funny when he said he was sitting opposite me. kaisheng said could be fake because we couldnt create game at the LAN shop. but how that guy knew a guy was sitting beside me? probably a lucky guess. that game was pretty funny. when naix was gone due to low health, i just anyhow shot an elune's arrow (priestress of the moon) for fun at the straight part of the bottom lane, i actually killed him. im damm lucky. then awhile later, the host said he had stomachache while his friend got headache and another friend had fingerpain, they said to remake. they really had lame excuses. then one by one our results smses came, i was damm happy when i saw a GS at the end of the message (which means i could proceed to next semester). all the best to my friends who didnt make it through, i can help if you need me to.
CKTCS:D+
when i saw this, felt damm relief. i failed all its quizzes and even term test, i actually passed with a plus. i felt damm lucky, and glad that all the hard (trying to understand it for once and for all) preparation for its examination really worked. oh because my new phone has those smiley icons, and there was a :D smiley face and i find it rather annoying. if anybody knows how to disable those smiley icons for Sony Ericsson phone, please tell me. anyway back to yesterday, so then we had dinner at plaza singapura's long john after that. then walked to cineleisure to check winston's and jasper's results because they didnt register for results via sms. we also checked our gpa, mine dropped somemore until 2.84 already. every semester my gpa drops, really hope one semester it will rise, even a little. :) anyway after that we went off to heeren then to starbucks coffee to slack. they ordered drinks, except me, and we played daidee with loser out because we had 5 people. they said cannot play at the cafe by right? im not sure either. so after playing many rounds of daidee and one round of shithead, we left for home.

i want to go have a drink, but not sure when. i want to be that girl's friend, but not sure how. i want to have a cute keychain for my handphone, but not sure what. :)

Friday, March 09, 2007

cant believe what i do late at night

today when i wake up, its the first time i still have voice. since thursday last week, everyday i wake up without voice. :) need clear throat then got voice. oh yay, my mama wants me to find job while my papa dont want. but i cant bloody find any job. ive read newspaper advertisments, ive called whichever i think relevant, i still cant find a job for me. really is what the hell, aint that easy to satisfy my parents lol.

6th march
was supposed to go kelly's services at tampines mall with kaisheng and chinaik. in the end i didnt go because my mama said agency need to pay, later need wait very long or bluff my money. actually no need pay anything, just go there fill up some form as said by kaisheng. but a portion of my pay will go to that agency. felt quite bad that i was so indecisive, the day before i agreed on going, then after i heard may wait for very long i decided not go, then i thought could just try so agreed, then in the end didnt go. so i told kaisheng if going out could call me along too. then he said going bugis after that, i agreed on going. when i stepped out of the house and to the lift, my handphone no network! i thought maybe in the lift so never mind, but my handphone still no network as i walked to the mrt station. i tried taking out my sim card and dismentled everything, but my sim card failed to register. going to meet my friend then such things happen, damm saddening. so i decided to go mrt station change for coins to use payphone call, in the end i only got to change 2$ note to two 1$ coins. i saw the payphone stated to use exact because it wont return the remaining credits. in the end i asked two china students to lend me a call, greatly kaisheng didnt pick up. quite anxious but i just board the train, and luckily when i reached city hall station, i got to change my 1$ coin into smaller change with an old couple. they gave me all in 10cents and old lady kept asking me to count my coins but i just said never mind (i did count in the end, they gave me 95cents lol). so i used the payphone and told kaisheng where exactly to meet as my handphone was not usable. after we have reached bugis, i went to the hello shop to ask about a replacement for my sim card if its spoilt, it has many scratches already. when it was my turn, the guy told me i need my papa as the contract is under his name in order to change my sim card. i told him my papa and i have the same surname, why cant i just change my sim card. he said he know, then need my ic which i only have my bus pass. he then said he need my ic to verify the address. i then told him i know my address what. he said he know again, i felt like laughing at his "knows still ask". so after that he clicked clicked clicked, he checked that my papa bought a handphone and sim card. and he concluded that he may have cancelled my sim card, replaced by that sim card he bought. i actually felt quite happy, i asked him that handphone my papa bought was for me? he said he cant say, so never mind i left. then at night i called back home using a payphone, my brother picked up.
me: papa got buy food ornot?
bro: got.
me: huh..okay im coming back eat then.
bro: okay, you need me to charge it ornot?
me: huh? oh, never mind. papa got buy dinner ornot?
bro: never.
me: okay. then my sim card still have my information?
bro: how i know.
me: never mind then. bye bye.

i think he heard wrongly, "food" became "phone" or something. quite funny, so walked around then went home. my papa really got me sony ericsson k800i after so long, thought he may have forgotten. quite happy, but now i still feel im newbie towards it. the messaging is really quite pain in the fingers, not as simple as nokia's.

my new handphone is pretty empty currently, kind souls do send me some nice smses! :D and anybody wants to have video call, can try with me.

Monday, March 05, 2007

it rains and it pours when you are out on your own

im having trouble sleeping
you're jumping in my bed
twisting in my head
leave me

im having trouble breathing
you're sitting on my chest
i sure could use the rest
leave me

its you
why's it always you
and never me?
ive never dared to let
my feelings free
why's it always you
and never me?
ive never cared
too much about honesty

im having trouble sleeping
im thinking of what you said
about the tears been shed
leave me

its you
now and always you
but never me
ive never dared to
let my feelings free
why's it always you
and never me?
I’ve never cared
too much about honesty


那年深深爱过
也深深痛过
爱完了然后她走了
时间哗啦啦过
泪也刷啦啦流
她忘了把心还我

把心细细上锁
也密密封过
为什么眼泪还在流
爱是笑呵呵的风
然后哎呀呀的痛
直到你出现拯救我

你把孤单消灭
都消灭全都消灭
给我安慰抱着我哄我入睡
我的世界每天笑笑到累
累得很满足才甘愿

你把孤单消灭
都消灭全都消灭
给我安慰抱着我哄我入睡
你的笑容我一定很宝贝
从今天到永远
永远不会疲倦

那天我眼泪偷偷滴在碗中
你做了刀削面给了我
刀削面就像你的深刻温柔
越削薄就越甜越感动


saturday went out to eat. ordered 板面 and it came before the guy before me who just paid. i took the bowl without tray and walked to my seat, though its hot. after i reached my place, i recalled i didnt take out any money to pay. so i walked back and told the auntie i didnt pay, she couldnt remember. but she looked back at the recorded reciepts and said i should be really didnt pay. so i paid, and she said i 很老实. :)

holiday: boring.
i want to know my results, i want to go out everyday especially saturdays, i want to earn money, i want to eat japanese food, i want to sing k, i want to have a drink, i want to buy a watch, i want to have nice wears, i want to ride on a mad roller coaster, i want to be friend with a girl.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

no one believes me i meant all the things i said

if i could escape
i would, but first of all let me say
i must apologize for acting, thinking, treating you this way

cause ive been acting like sour milk fell on the floor
its your fault, you didnt shut the refrigerator
maybe thats the reason ive been acting so cold

if i could escape
and recreate a place in my own world
and i could be your favorite girl
forever, perfectly together
now tell me boy, wouldnt that be sweet?

if i could be sweet
i know ive been a real bad girl
i didnt mean for you to get hurt
forever, we can make it better
tell me boy, now wouldnt that be sweet?

sweet escape

you left me down
so baby, its time to getting a little crazy
hopefully you dont leave me

if i could escape
and recreate a place in my own world
and i could be your favorite girl
forever, perfectly together
now tell me boy, wouldnt that be sweet?

if i could be sweet
i know ive been a real bad girl
i didnt mean for you to get hurt
forever, we can make it better
tell me boy, now wouldnt that be sweet?


im always sick during the holiday. finally examination period over, now its awaiting for the results. happening in about 2 weeks' time, so long. destiny shall decide, i seriously dont want to think so much. i cant predict, just wait for reality!

had a thought, i feel like doing piercing(s). used to always think of having a piercing on the top loop of each ear, but one near to the middle loop. now feel like doing piercing on my face too, probably at the end of the eye brow or somewhere at the lips. but i want it to be 100% safe and hygienic, then again, seem very gangsta and ruining my own face. maybe i should get rid of the idea. x)

yesterday (friday) went tampines to meet kaisheng, nigel and jasper. i was late for about an hour, and we walked around while waiting for jasper to find us after his last paper. they bought 2$ toto, didnt know there was a 10million prize. oh i finally got to eat that chilli crab puff which ive been waited so long to taste it. though i have sore throat, i just bought and ate one since it always got sold out everytime i visit that crispy puff stall. well i felt that its not bad, the crab meat is soft and it wasnt very spicy nor heaty. quite satisfied. after that jasper came already, we walked around somemore and bought bubble tea plus a deck of poker cards before heading up bus 23. we drank bubble tea in the bus and played daidee throughout the journey. the bus was also mad freezing, then dont know why cannot stop laughing. especially when disgusting jasper licked his fingers to distribute the cards. the cards already stinked, he made it more smelly lol. :x so we headed to bugis, walked around and then went cineleisure. played 2 hours of e2max, partly subsidised by nigel. well actually we played for 1 hour plus, because e2max actually not that good. some games take damm long to load, the computers always hang, always get disconnect and all those nonsense which wasted our time and money. finally we decided to play battle.net (which will get disconnected sometimes) as it wont load long. darren created the game at home and we joined just right can 5v5. first game only, we had to play a 5v2 game. but the opposite two heroes quite strong, if lose also not weird. after that game ended, we left with 20minutes only but we continued playing with darren, pangseh him. think about it like quite funny, the four of us just like that disconnect while playing half way. after that nigel and i had dinner at long john silver and also played daidee while eating. i think the prosperous fish meal quite worth though expensive, nice too! played until the granny cleaner said something in dilect, like eat dont play or what. none of us understood, but we stopped after that game, respect. then we headed home already, i saw my bus stopped behind another bus at the traffic light. i ran to board it, but the uncle didnt allow. disappointed, but i just wait then.

saw this earring in the online shop, seem nice in the picture. feel like buying, but i scared not nice when i wear it.


the day before yesterday went out with leslie to watch ghost rider. the movie is nice, maybe because i like fantasy stuffs. somemore hes so cool, ride bike, got fiery power, help the innocent. he also kept the curse so the devil wont put curse on other people, so 伟大. after that went angmokio to meet up with weixiong, ferline and boonliang for dinner. played arcade and went home. took some pictures with my sister also, and my new haircut. i will get use to it, though i quite disappointed that the hairdresser cut my fringe short. i told her my fringe will curl if its short and she even agreed that longer fringe will be better. boo! but kimage service not bad i say. oh sometimes i thought of styling my hair, never try before.

my sister looks cute.

alicia and alyssa. :)