all of us beleive
that this is not up to you
the fact of the matter is
that it's up to me
how can we fake this anymore
turn our backs away, and chose to just ignore
some say it's ignorance
it makes me feel some innocence
it takes away a part of me
but i won't let go
tell me why can't you see, it's not the way
when we all fall down, it will be too late
why is there no reason we can't change
when we all fall down, who will take the blame
what will it take
nothing could ever be this real
a life unsatisfied that i could never feel
some say this future's not so bright
some can't make the sacrifice
it's much more than just black and white
and i won't follow
tell me why can't you see, it's not the way
when we all fall down, it will be too late
why is there no reason we can't change
when we all fall down, who will take the blame
what will it take
times like these i've come to see how
everything but time is running out
what
all of us beleive in what we need
what we have's what we don't see
tell me why can't you see, it's not the way
when we all fall down, it will be too late
why is there no reason we can't change
when we all fall down, who will take the blame
what will it take
tell me why can't you see, it's not the way
(so how long, has this gone on, i don't see this ending)
when we all fall down, it will be too late
(it's too late, we can't change, what has now begun)
why is there no reason we can't change
(we act like, its not right, why are we pretending)
when we all fall down, who will take the blame
(we've been wrong, for so long)
what will it take
(we've known this all along)talking about emo, i do am emo now. but i dont usually show, i edit my self pictures to emo pictures and listen to rock songs with those meaningful lyrics. i am and will be brave, nonchalent and i dont give a bloody damm about what others think. i eat chocolate or even other kind of junks every day, to maintain my feelings a bit. :) today i had macdonald's strawberry sundae, didnt have that for years. yesterday had cadbury booz, the day before had wang wang 黑白配 chocolate sticks, also very long didnt eat that. weekdays are pretty sucky actually, but ive look everything very light heartedly. i dont want to be sour, cry and feel like giving up anymore, i want to live my life the way it is.
now isnt really schooling, its paying school fees to build a sort of submarine for a company (but they have 10k$ for us). we are creating a new one for the company, everything we have to calculate and call suppliers. sometimes i dont understand many things because of mechanics, its too dull and difficult for me. i do am keen to learn, but theres always not enough information for me, i am better with mathematics not theory. thought of approaching the supervisor or the company man privately to understand more. so im the leader of the team, but i dont wish to be as i dont know many things and i will never force others even if i need to push. moreover i have problems with my team. we do have our own lab, but usually its so hot that we walk around and even to our friends' lab. air con spoilt what, really feel that this "attachment" system really sucks. what suck more is four guy friends everytime pick on me to mock, tease, insult which actually hurt, and they wont listen to me. they are like mean people who dont think about others, its probably their way of living to pick on someone to laugh about. so what if what i say are all dumb, have dumb habits, have dumb thoughts and ideas, have dumb ways of living my life. do you think i care? im not immature and im not that weak (anymore). whats good or bad i know it myself, need not others to judge. i listen to you, you laugh, i smile, everything is fine with me. you think i will scare of you and what you do? i only think you are crazy, yet harmless. maybe you made me not wanting to join you that often anymore. i rather do whats more important and needed, everytime i walk back by myself to do work while you play, i know nobody will listen or bother anyway. i would rather end this project early and have a long holiday than to stay in school for more days of sufferings. currently im also like the secretary who pick up calls and give calls plus sending emails to suppliers. when calling the lecturer, my teammates always dial the number at the school's loudspeaker phone and then run away giggling, leaving me standing there with no idea whats the big deal about calling.
even if whoever come across to read this blog entry, i wouldnt care. my friends everytime enjoy talking bad about others and thinking everything else is stupid anyway. i am just like them, talking bad about people. they are still my friends, i could treat them well. but sometimes, i couldnt bother to talk anything. anyway none of them listens to me, only sometimes my good friend would talk to me. he also changed a bit, having more physical contacts like messing up my hair, punching my cheeks. he also like has two sides, sometimes he sees things positively, but he could see the same things negatively with the rest. dont know if he notice, it is really weird. overall i dont have anything against you guys, i let you be. i wouldnt care and i just want to get this over with. im saying these just for ranting.
oh well, life isnt all about fun and games. i thought you will never make me cry again.