got to be everything more, i could be anything you like

meet poot on thursday. yeah!
cineleisure. no movie. omu rice set at takashimaya.
meet poot on friday. yea!!
plaza singapura. carls jr texas toothpicks. m)phosis dress. orange julius.
meet poot on saturday. ye!!!
suntec. auntie annie caramel almond & sour cream. korean beef酸辣面.
meet poot on sunday. y!!!!
toa payoh park. kfc miso crunch. lollipop with crackling powder.
just kidding.

and some pictures. x)


i love TeH Simpsons. especially Lisa :D

while waiting for boyfriend's arrival.

be toot.


change style. teehee.


be extremely toot.
sibeh bo liao. laugh luhh.


what a cute poot poot.


two lovey piggies.


any way you want to, any way you've got to. :)


my masterpiece. sibeh bo liao what.

I AM FAT.

take me for how you remembered me

地点是城市某个角落
时间在午夜时刻
无聊的人常在这里出没
交换一种寂寞
我静静坐在你的身后
你似乎只想沉默
我猜我们的爱情已到尽头
无话可说
比争吵更折磨
不如就分手
放我一个人生活
请你双手不要再紧握
一个人我至少干净俐落
沦落就沦落
爱闯祸就闯祸
我也放你一个人生活
你知道就算继续结果还是没结果
又何苦还要继续迁就

就彼此放生留下活口
就彼此放生
彼此留下活口
爱的时候
说过的承诺
爱过以后
就不要强求
从此分手
不必再回头
各自生活
曾经孤单加上孤单是爱火
燃烧过你和我
如今沉默加上沉默更沉默
再没有什么舍不得

ive hurt myself once again.

i could bet that he thinks he need me, bla bla. but have he thought about me? i couldnt see him by my side during the critical time when i needed him, yet i had to seek someone who happened to be free to talk to. does he even know how i feel when i found out he drank after 5 days from the day of incident? i dont even know if he was tipsy and if what he said were in a clear mind or not. like how he wished i could sit the ferris wheel with him, i wished we could play the sweet land paradise machine with him since a very long time ago. its really too bad he used the sum of money for his own happiness, not the both of us. felt like dreams are being shattered, i probably should just give up this dumb thought. i still dont get whats wrong to ask me to wait, yet he had to bluff my feelings and said he was going to look for me that instant as if he had arrived. was i expecting too much? i hate false hopes, nobody likes it in fact. i am in a clear mind even if im crying, and i have made up my mind for real this time. there is no point even if i am waiting for you or you are waiting for me, its too late and there will be no turning back.

and today, dammit! how can i be so hasty that i repeated my stupidness? though i trust more to this friend, the awkwardness between us isnt something to bear with. i may want to share, but i should have known better its SO VERY WRONG to do so. i am not drunk, really. i dont know when will i ever learn and refrain myself. each time my brain recieve a common topic, my mouth just generate instantly. its the first time i said something which caused silence and the awkwardness in it. i really hope it isnt permanent, and i am really sorry. hope only one person knows what im writing. felt like a nightmare.

just watched finish The Beast And The Beauty, a touching romance comedy. simply love it, like a fairytale story.
Vodka pear, sweet. Anything sprite, horrible.
wish i could own one of those bottles. x)

have you ever heard someone say what you really wanted to hear?

when there's nowhere else to run
is there room for one more sun
one more sun
if you can hold on

i wanna stand up, i wanna let go
you know, you know - no you don't, you don't
i wanna shine on, in the hearts of men
i want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

another headache, another heart breaks
i'm so much older than i can take
and my affection, well it comes and goes
i need direction to perfection, no

help me out
you know you gotta help me out
don't you put me on the back burner
you know you gotta help me out

and when there's nowhere else to run
is there room for one more sun
these changes ain't changing me
the cold-hearted boy i used to be

i got soul, but i'm not a soldier

monday i blogged, not that sorrowful anymore.

tuesday chinaik played with my handphone's camera, find his comical face very cute. thats when i start to laugh and become lighter. everytime see the ghost picture, sure find it funny.

he said to do 鬼脸 but his not 鬼 enough, bluff me.

look at his face, act until so real right.

wednesday met up with amylia (my counsellor friend) at Tampines Mall. she wants to meet up because monday i was still unstable. so we ate at Cafe Cartel and we chatted pretty much, told her about many issues. also learnt some stuffs and she said i am still prone to getting depression (secondary 3 got before). thinks what she adviced me about, the decision still is on me. after that took bus with her to sengkang where i headed home. oh ya, she said she hope vincent and i still can be together. lol?! impossible.

lonely ride home. somehow i look like ah lian?

thursday finally had my presentation. was quite rush and i did the powerpoint slides, my team mates didnt really read my slides, so i presented while they added on when necessary. was quite alright, not really nervous. but i only wonder how i did, didnt ask them. after presentation, so damm happy that weiling actually called me to go out with her. she is my long lost girlfriend after something(bad) happened, which caused me to avoid her and i regretted much. really happy that she suddenly contacted me. though its because that day she had leave and couldnt find anybody to go out with, i am still happy that i could meet her, even that one time after so long. went Bishan and had Pasta Mania, then walked around but didnt have anything to see. so we took MRT to Ang Mo Kio, where we nearly got squashed between the closing door. lucky the door touched her, then opened, and we decided to take next train because she embarrassed. some more the people didnt move in, and the guy right in front of us still smile, smack his face mann. walked around Jubilee and she got tempted to watch Fantastic Four movie. watched 9pm show and surprisingly the manager said the movie 1.5hour only, so i watched with her. first time watching a Fantastic Four show, just somehow find them lame. the movie indeed was pretty short, but its funny, touching and pretty awesome. the Torch guy is very cute looking, i like his long eye lashes. his sister in the movie very pretty also, good figured Jessica Alba (i told weiling that jessica has big breasts, she shy and said she never hear o_O). compatible siblings. when you think about it, its actually pretty uncommon to see a geek scientist with chao lao look (Mr Fantastic) to have a super hot wife. yes the opposites attract. :D after that took MRT with her to go home, though i should have took bus instead. oh well..

aint she cute. okay maybe not to you.

friday after school met up with ferline at Cineleisure. she bought her new slippers, i dont know when im going to buy myself a new pair of slippers. had dinner at burger king and was damm full, so after that went shop shop. i nearly finally bought something. because Forever21 selling sunglasses at 11$ you know! the sunglasses at Topshop chao chao 30+$, of course tempted when see cheap and good quality stuff. but those nicer ones are in black which i dont want, and some more very few to choose from. the "uncle biker" sunglass there quite nice and suits me, but i cannot think of when to wear and look really quite uncle (later mock at), even though i like. so after much consideration, never buy. i got aim one in Topshop for very long already, that one still is the best. still looking for a black chain bracelet. after that ferline took bus with me to my house there, and i waited with her until her bus arrived. while wanting to cross the road, saw a figure look like konghong. so i stood there and like stare at the figure, lol lucky really is konghong. or else like quite embarrassed to stand there and just stare. have night blindness plus myopia is like that. hope nobody will wack me if i stare wrongly someday.

i found a nice smile. (pimple due to lack of sleep)

saturday wanted to ask someone to go out with me, in the end never. wanted to ask alan and gang to go out somewhere, in the end never. finally went to meet tuckyong and ferline at orchard. tuckyong and i were early so we went Tangs where we got bubble tea plus his fried chicken. first time get to drink black sesame milk tea, not bad but its like milk tea with crushed black sesame seeds. kind of cheapskate, dont really have the black sesame flavour. anyway after that we went to look for ferline as she wasnt feeling well, and then better. then we stood behind a tree with our back facing her, she really didnt see us when she walked past. lol after that went to have dinner, wasnt hungry so i never eat. played the music game in tuckyong's PSP, quite challenging and the songs plus animations are nice. then we walked to Plaza Singapura and the dress i wanted to buy, NO MORE. damm disappointed, everytime im ready to buy something, no more already. positively, i could save the money for other uses then. waited for weixiong to arrive, we went arcade and played some basketball and daytona. then after walked back to Cineleisure and wanted to take neoprint because june special 5$ only and there provides free costumes, fun what. but guys dont really enjoy taking neoprints i guess, drag until in the end never take, went Cuppage and played DotA 2v2. rained quite heavily but we just ran across streets. after gaming, took MRT back then tuckyong, weixiong and i went to have supper at toa payoh lorong 5 hawker centre (really hungry already). walked from the interchange to there, and it was still raining, should have took 235 mann. lucky walk until there still got stalls open, ate fried oyster (yeah!) and fried carrot cake. we also had 3 Whatever, got lemon tea (mine), peach tea (wx) and lychee tea (ty). if like that, i think quite hard to get the same drink, unless a lot of people buy. tuckyong quite poor thing keep get shot at. xD chatted until 0130+ then went home and finally can sleep. but before sleeping, i watched some movie. Forbidden Siren, the movie really damm twisted. and first half of A Millionaire's First Love.

sunday finished watching A Millionaire's First Love and Seducing Mr Perfect. cried for many parts, A Millionaire's First Love is damm saddening yet heart warming. as for Seducing Mr Perfect, its a really funny yet lovely romance movie. you can actually learn some tips from movies, you know. love to all, thumbs up to kmovie! thanks kaisheng for introducing me crunchyroll.com too. the video loads and plays straight away, really good. i can watch free movies and anime now. today had cornflake prawns, chilli crabs, boney king, frog legs, tiger beer, banana chocolate cake, bacardi peach. "ehh no kick de" "the kick will come" x) i want The Simpsons Movie!

choices in life, plenty. chances in life, hardly.
because the courage and stubbornness in me couldnt give way.

see that you are the only real face in the room

you know, maybe its not totally that because i have attitude problem. yes i do have that problem since then, never changed. but somehow i also feel that im the only stupid one who will actually believe my boyfriend or friends of what they say. i believed too much, i should have known well. people dont always mean what they say. i am so gullible! expected too much. shyt lah, i cannot trust anymore. wonder is that how it is.

my friend said rather directly that he wants to woo me. i dont think this is the right time to say such things (is he dumb or what?), or anytime is ever the right time at all for him. dont get why guys like to ask "you and your boyfriend break?". lucky this guy is my friend, or else i sure think he is another bastard (to block contact with). seriously, i am such a lousy person. i easily get petty, easily get sensitive, easily get irritated, and i have attitude problem. i am not a good girlfriend afterall. why not friends, tell leslie he is blind? its quite a torture for him. i couldnt really get it.

when he treats me well, i take him for granted, i would suan him, say hurting things to actually want to irk him. when he becomes sensitive, i would find him rather irritating. when he does something which i dont like, i will ignore him. then when i get angry or what, he would give in a lot, a lot. 40% of what i talk to him is about normal stuffs like school, people, blah blah, but the remaining 60% of what i say is always the opposite, never meant from the heart. everytime i thought of what i said after that, i would regret and think "i am really a chee bye lah" (label adapted from ks). and dammit, i everytime cry.

go school stress, at home feel quite useless, in a relationship quite trapped. really having a hard time. but i am going to meet my counselling friend soon, i dont want to think of dying so young. i dont want to talk to my friends, be with them so i wouldnt cry (even in bus or public also cannot help it, i know im hopeless). by right, nobody can help me but myself, i think. at least my friend offer to want to help me. she knows i used to have depression, and im pretty strong.

my mama told me before that, because at home i never talk back or speak a word of justice for myself no matter how unreasonable they can be, so outside i would show temper. somehow i find that rather true? not just that, i also have a mind of my own. everybody do have choices in life. nobody could really force one another to make decisions. you cant really blame someone when something goes wrong, everybody in that situation are at fault by right. its how you want to look at it.

soon what i wrote about how depressed i am will be craps. i can get over such matters, in the matter of whether i will think about it or not.

funfair until 1st july, scare what.
oceans thirteen, wait for me.
that dress and those tops, ive got to have them.
good charlotte's good morning revival, be mine.