Monday, June 18, 2007

take me for how you remembered me

地点是城市某个角落
时间在午夜时刻
无聊的人常在这里出没
交换一种寂寞
我静静坐在你的身后
你似乎只想沉默
我猜我们的爱情已到尽头
无话可说
比争吵更折磨
不如就分手
放我一个人生活
请你双手不要再紧握
一个人我至少干净俐落
沦落就沦落
爱闯祸就闯祸
我也放你一个人生活
你知道就算继续结果还是没结果
又何苦还要继续迁就

就彼此放生留下活口
就彼此放生
彼此留下活口
爱的时候
说过的承诺
爱过以后
就不要强求
从此分手
不必再回头
各自生活
曾经孤单加上孤单是爱火
燃烧过你和我
如今沉默加上沉默更沉默
再没有什么舍不得

ive hurt myself once again.

i could bet that he thinks he need me, bla bla. but have he thought about me? i couldnt see him by my side during the critical time when i needed him, yet i had to seek someone who happened to be free to talk to. does he even know how i feel when i found out he drank after 5 days from the day of incident? i dont even know if he was tipsy and if what he said were in a clear mind or not. like how he wished i could sit the ferris wheel with him, i wished we could play the sweet land paradise machine with him since a very long time ago. its really too bad he used the sum of money for his own happiness, not the both of us. felt like dreams are being shattered, i probably should just give up this dumb thought. i still dont get whats wrong to ask me to wait, yet he had to bluff my feelings and said he was going to look for me that instant as if he had arrived. was i expecting too much? i hate false hopes, nobody likes it in fact. i am in a clear mind even if im crying, and i have made up my mind for real this time. there is no point even if i am waiting for you or you are waiting for me, its too late and there will be no turning back.

and today, dammit! how can i be so hasty that i repeated my stupidness? though i trust more to this friend, the awkwardness between us isnt something to bear with. i may want to share, but i should have known better its SO VERY WRONG to do so. i am not drunk, really. i dont know when will i ever learn and refrain myself. each time my brain recieve a common topic, my mouth just generate instantly. its the first time i said something which caused silence and the awkwardness in it. i really hope it isnt permanent, and i am really sorry. hope only one person knows what im writing. felt like a nightmare.

just watched finish The Beast And The Beauty, a touching romance comedy. simply love it, like a fairytale story.
Vodka pear, sweet. Anything sprite, horrible.
wish i could own one of those bottles. x)