life is a wreck. i didnt sleep!
i have one word to say it all: SUCKS.
but at least there is
pootpoot who is
ben si ler to be with such a me. and not forgetting my close ones with minds alike.
(:you know. today i was in school playing daidee with my friends. i won many rounds, so they made me feel as if it was my fault to win. they changed the rule like cannot play 3 cards when they knew i had, even when one of them also had 3 of a kind. they said as if i was unwelcomed. play whatever games, my strategy is always dumb, so cannot play with me. i was poured water on the head later on. so to me, they acted like sore losers. but seriously, they have been picking on me ever since. i continued playing until i lost so i had to give out the cards. gave out 3 decks and i walked off, crying all the way to find my other friends. i didnt care who saw or looked at me or even recognise me. this isnt the first time i felt so sucky, being picked on. i wrote on the previous post before, now i write somemore.
to be picked on, say things to hurt me, but i know you never knew. if you dont like what i say, what i do, how i am. why not you have the guts to tell me "why the
fuck you are born, you bitch" in my face huh? im not sure if you did it all for the fun of it or its just your life to be like that, your fun isnt my fun. and people tend to say or do things which they never knew they have hurted someone. even chinaik knew this isnt my first time crying. i was so getting stronger, but you have to hit the limit to make me cry all over again. seriously, what have i done to harm you guys to make you want to harm me? is it that because the way i play games and always have weird strategy to win? its not a problem that i dont ever play with you, i dont mind at all. and you naive mind, thinking when im angry i should tell you? its like you use a gun to kill me, and i have to tell you "im dead" when im already dead.
after that we were alright already, played games and i bloody scolded
cheebye. really it was what the hell, it just came out so smoothly. the utterly shocked look on kaisheng's face was simply hilarious, but i was quite embarrassed also. didnt mean to scold vulgarity, because i shouldnt and wouldnt scold. the feeling was just down to the pits. but yes something was wrong, i kept laughing.
friends, you call them that because you value them. no matter what they did to you, someway will still be friends. if they arent your friends, no need label them as your friends. no need talk about them, because whats the point? you have no relationship with them. differentiate. you think some human beings have no feelings? maybe only you feel sad, happy, anger. people who are worthless or made mistakes dont have feelings then? some days you realise and learnt, so others couldnt do the same? i hate the word "put yourself in others' shoes" because ignorant people cant do it and couldnt care less. i dont bloody give a damm about those people either.
what i say could imply to some. you know, my friends, i dont want to be around anymore. the care and love you have for me, dont waste it on me. give it to someone else who might need it more. dont bother about me. im sorry that i couldnt care for everybody even if i want to. now there are too much nonsense, and i dont want happiness either. i dont see any difference anyway, im just one person. you may think its bullshit, but im serious because im very unstable now. farewell.